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Why “My Dick?”

Well, not everyone loves warm-ups. In fact some people hate ‘em. But if you’ve moved beyond Clap Focus and Zip Zap Zop, then you might like a little thing called My Dick. Um, maybe I should rephrase that.

Despite the pornographic name, it’s really just a game of one-upmanship.

Everyone on the team stands in a circle. Or a square if there’s only four of you, or a triangle if there’s three… anyhoo. One person starts off by rapping:

My dick, is better than your dick

Your dick, is a ger-i-atric

…or whatever you come up with in the moment that rhymes. The constants are “My dick… (something awesome)” and “Your dick… (something lame).” The next person then tries to heighten and one-up the first rapper. For instance:

My dick, leaves them wanting more

Your dick, looks like Pauly Shore

And so forth. You can rap about your size, shape, prowess with the ladies, prowess with the guys, your member’s taste in automobiles. Whatever. And ladies, if you prefer “My vag,” “My uterus” or even “My brain,” that’s your prerogative.

My favourite rhyme came from improviser savant, Simon Pond:

My dick, owns a lot of property

Your dick, doesn’t own a lot of property

Nailed it.

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